Why You Should Buy What People Actually Need, Not What You Think They Want
Happy Feb everyone! January has packed its bags, and here comes February! Cue the heart-shaped confetti! Yep, Valentine’s Day is creeping up, and so is the question: What on earth do I get for my Sugar Booger? (Ha! I don't know what you call your partner, but if "baby" or "babe" feels a bit… blah, it's time to spice it up.)
Honestly, throw out a random pet name today and watch their face like “Snuggle Bunny,” “Love Muffin,” “Sweet Potato Pie” I double dare you! You might get an eye roll or a laugh, but hey, I’m here doing God’s work to help sprinkle a little extra magic on your love life. You’re welcome!
Now, before you spiral into gift panic, let me throw this out there! Are you picking something they actually need, or just what you think they’ll like? Let’s break it down so we’re gifting like pros this Valentine’s Day.
Because, listen up, we are NOT doing bloody socks, underwear, or random gift cards this year. Let’s raise the bar! Valentine’s Day isn’t about ticking a box; it’s about showing love in a way that feels personal, thoughtful, and, dare I say, memorable.
You’re better than handing over a pack of boxer briefs or recycling your exes belongings for the love of God! Let’s all aim for something that screams, “I see you, I know you, and I’ve put actual thought into this!” It’s time to retire the ‘meh’ gifts and step into your queen and king energy, gifting with intention.
The reason I’m asking is that I was scrolling through Reddit the other day (At this point I've become an addict to this rabbit hole site) and I came across this post from a woman who was venting about the gifts her partner gives her. She didn’t want to sound ungrateful, but she couldn’t ignore the lack of effort he put into them. She mentioned things like, “I haven’t felt really valued” and “I’m always the one doing all the planning.” It made me think—wow, how many people out there are just suffering in silence when it comes to receiving gifts that don’t feel personal?
I mean, it’s crazy how often people buy gifts based on what they think looks cool or cute, rather than what the other person actually needs or will use. And this isn’t just about romantic relationships, it happens with friends and family too. I’ve seen it so many times.
The Gifting Struggle is Real
Here’s a question for you: how many times has your "honey buns" used a gift you gave them? If the answer is “uhhh, not really,” it’s probably because the gift didn’t really hit the mark. And honestly, it’s not about how expensive or fancy the gift is. It’s all about putting some thought into it, right?
Let me tell you about this one time I learned that lesson the hard way...
Storytime: My “Red Flag” Gift
So, on my first anniversary with my ex (this was a while ago, don’t worry), he gave me this gift that I swear was regifted. I didn’t have proof, but I could just tell. It was a red Cartier box, and it was all scratched up and looked second-hand. Like, come on! Not only did it look regifted, but he also knew I had broken my headphones and wanted these wireless JBL ones. He also knew I was obsessed with donuts like, a box of Krispy Kremes and some flowers would have been perfect for me! But instead, I got a gift that screamed “I didn’t try.” "women love jewellery meh"
It’s not like I’m materialistic. Honestly, I'm a simple girlie and I don’t care about labels or designer stuff. It’s the serious effort that counts for me. The fact you thought deeply about what I actually need or even give a rats pickle about! That experience really opened my eyes to how people often give what they think looks good, without paying attention to what the other person actually likes or needs. And I think a lot of us can relate to that, right?
The Real Gift-Giving Goal: Make Them Feel Special
When you give a gift, the goal is to make the other person feel appreciated. It doesn’t matter if it’s for Christmas, a birthday, or an anniversary whatever the occasion, the gift should be about them, not about what you like or think is cool.
And look, I totally get it! Sometimes the things people need or want are just out of our budget. And that’s okay! I respect that not everyone can afford the exact thing someone has been dreaming about, especially when gifts can get extremely pricey these days. But what I’ve found is that most of the time, there’s always at least one thing you can get that they need or would really appreciate that is really reasonable. It could be something small, thoughtful, or personal, but it’s still something they’ll actually use or love.
My Experience: A Thoughtful, Budget-Friendly Gift During Covid
I remember this time during Covid when I planned my ex’s birthday. He was really into photography. It was his passion outside of work. Now, I couldn’t afford the camera he had been eyeing (it was like £1000+, way out of my budget), but I didn’t let that stop me. Instead, I made everything about photography because I knew how much it meant to him. I planned a whole photo-themed day and bought him other photography-related gifts that I knew he needed and had talked about like some famous book he kept going on about.
It wasn’t the fancy camera he wanted, but it was still meaningful because it showed I paid attention to his passion and interests. And guess what? He loved it. I went out my way to make his birthday special and his response was "nobody has ever done something like this for me" and I felt very proud of myself and happy that he was happy. that's always my goal. I put my partners needs first on their special days cause its not about me at all.
And that’s the thing right, it’s not about spending a fortune. It’s about knowing what makes that person’s heart happy and finding something within your means that still says, “Hey, I see you. I know what you love.”
Real Life Tips For Thoughtful Gifting
So, how do you make sure your gifts hit the mark? It’s actually pretty simple:
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Just Ask!: Seriously, ask the person for a list of things they want or need. That way, you still have room to surprise them but know you’re getting something they’ll actually use and love.
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Add a Little Something Extra: Once you’ve got the main gift sorted, throw in a little extra touch. Maybe their favourite snack, a cute card, or some flowers. It’s those little things that show you’re really thinking about them.
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Stick to Your Budget: If you can’t afford the big thing they need, no worries! Find something smaller but still thoughtful. It’s the thought that counts, not the price tag.
What If You’re the One Getting the Gifts?
On the flip side, if you’re the one always receiving gifts you’re not really into, it’s totally okay to say something (nicely, of course!). Being honest about the gifts you receive doesn’t make you ungrateful, it just means you’re being real about what makes you happy.
Here’s how you can handle it without hurting anyone’s feelings:
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Be Honest (But Kind): It’s okay to say, “Thank you so much for the gift! It’s not really my style, but I appreciate it.” You don’t have to lie or pretend to love it.
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Focus on the Positive: Thank them for their effort first, then gently mention what would suit you better in the future.
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Give Some Hints: If it keeps happening, drop a few suggestions before the next big occasion so they have some direction. You’re saving them the stress of trying to guess, and you get something you’ll actually enjoy. A win is a win!
Wrap-Up: Thoughtful Gifts for the Win
At the end of the day, everyone deserves to feel special on their birthdays, V-day, anniversaries, Christmas, and other milestones. Giving gifts should be about making the other person happy, not just picking out something that you think looks cute or is trendy.
So this month and moving forward, let’s all do ourselves a favour: ask ourselves, “Am I buying this because I think they’ll actually like it, or because I think it looks good?” A thoughtful, well-chosen gift will always beat something flashy but impersonal. Trust me, they’ll appreciate it way more.
Thanks for reading, ciao!
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