Learning to Love Yourself in Singledom: Embrace the Journey and Let Life Flow
Buenas Dias my loves! Today might not be a long one, but I had something on my mind that I had to share with you. And if you're single right now this one’s especially for you.
You see, I’ve been single for four years now. Four beautiful, messy, eye-opening, and sometimes lonely years. And while I’m in no rush to jump into something that doesn’t serve me, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want love. Because I do.
But it’s got to be the right kind of love. Real, godly, intentional love. Not lust dressed up as connection. So let’s talk about what it means to truly love yourself while single.
A Chit Chat That Had Me In My Feels
The other day at work (I work in property, for those who don’t know), I met a woman at a house viewing. She was 49, turning 50, and she told me she’s been single for seven years. Naturally, I was like, “Girl, I’m right behind you with four!” We both laughed. But then she looked at me and said, “Sometimes I just want to do this and that with someone and not alone all the time.”
Whew.
That moment stuck with me deep down. Because it’s true, isn’t it? As much as we love our independence, sometimes we just want to share life’s moments with someone who gets us, who truly wants us, who we can grow with, who’s there through the small wins and the big ones. But at the same time It made me reflect:
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Would I have accomplished everything I’ve done if I was in a relationship?
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Are relationships sometimes a blessing or a subtle distraction?
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And can they actually slow you down if you’re not aligned with the right person?
I Want Love But Not Just Any Love
Let’s be clear: I want to be married.
Not just for the wedding or Instagram superficial photos, but for the partnership. I want to grow old with someone. I want my daughter to witness a man love me deeply, consistently, and without question. A love that doesn’t waiver. A love that chooses us daily!
I’ve spent these past few years showing her what it means to love yourself, protect your peace, and never settle. But I also want her to see that love in action to see a man who honours us, not just in words but in how he shows up on a continuous basis.
The Problem With Fast Love (And Why I’m Not Rushing)
Here’s what I know for sure is that, what comes too fast usually doesn’t last.
So many connections these days are built on vibes, lust, and superficial aesthetics. It’s all very now-now-now. But if there’s no emotional depth, no spiritual alignment, no purpose… then what’s the point?
We can’t build long-lasting love on lust and vibes alone. Relationships that last are built on substance, communication, vulnerability, emotional safety, and mutual respect.
So, I’ll wait.
For a deeper connection. For something real. For a man who’s obsessed with God, with me, and with the family we’re building.
What Singledom Has Taught Me
Being single has taught me that:
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Alone doesn’t mean lonely.
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Peace is priceless. Especially when you don't have share your bed with anyone snoring or farting next to you at night phahaha!
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Healing takes time.
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You should never rush what’s meant to be right.
And most importantly You’re not perfect but you are perfect for someone who truly loves you for your authenticity. The quirks, the flaws, the fire, the softness. When it’s the right one, you won’t have to shrink or perform. You’ll just be you, and that will be more than enough.
In this season for me, I’m focused on bettering myself and creating a beautiful life for my daughter daily. I’m chasing dreams, building my brand with The Shenanigans Club, and working on personal goals I might’ve delayed.
If You're Single Too, This is Your Reminder:
Whether you have kids or not, being single is not a waiting room. It’s a season of preparation, growth, and self-discovery. Here’s what I want you to do:
1. Pursue Your Passions
Start that business, take that solo trip, explore your gifts, take on a new skill, sort out your finances, up your fitness game so you can stay tight and right, engage with new people and different cultures.
2. Invest in Your Peace
Let go of drama and chaos. Go to therapy. Create a peaceful home and mindset. It matters more than you think.
3. Raise Your Standards
Once you start truly loving yourself, you’ll never settle for crumbs.
4. Stay Rooted in Faith
God’s timing is always better than ours. Trust the process, even when it feels slow.
This Might Help Too
Watch it here on Instagram and remind yourself: you are not behind. It just might take some time. And if that's not enough, watch this full podcast and thank me later!
The Mel Robbins Podcast: The Secret To A Happy Relationship
Love Starts With You Sweety
The best relationships begin with two whole people. So take this time to love yourself fiercely, laugh a little louder, take yourself on dates, and build the life you deserve. Because when that man shows up, you won’t be scrambling to find yourself… you’ll already be grounded in who you are.
If you enjoyed this post, share it with a friend who needs the reminder that being single is not a flaw, it’s a season to embrace.
Thanks so much for reading. With love and a full cup of coffee, Zion🧡
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About The Shenanigans Club
The Shenanigans Club is a social club for women aged 30-45 based in London UK. We host regular meet-ups and events where you can meet new people, try something different, and have fun. Whether it's a night out, a new activity, or simply getting together over a coffee, our goal is to create an inclusive space where women can form real authentic connections and step out of their comfort zones.
Like to be part of the club? Join here