Why Women Who Accept Cheating Don’t Value Themselves Enough – Here’s Why
Well hello again! It’s Zion, your friendly founder of The Shenanigans Club, back at it with another topic that’s a little tough but something I believe so many of you need and will relate to.
Let’s get real for a moment, today we’re talking about cheating, why most of our gender accept it, and the toll it can take on our self-worth. Buckle up, I’m diving deep into something personal, but necessary.
My Personal Opinion on Cheating
Let me just keep it all the way real! Cheating is the ultimate betrayal, full stop. There's no excuse in my eyes for it. It’s like someone took a sledgehammer to this beautiful glass house of trust and love you’ve been carefully building. For me, it’s the biggest red flag waving right in your face screaming, “This person does not respect me.”
It wrecks your boundaries, has you second-guessing everything, and leaves you wondering if real, honest love even exists. And the aftermath? Whew. It’s not just a broken heart, it’s paranoia, crushed self-esteem, and feeling completely lost about what a healthy relationship is meant to look like.
Bottom line? That’s not love, that’s selfishness in it's most damaging form. And listen, people seriously underestimate the long term damage it does to another human being. It can change you on such a deep level. But if you’ve had the strength to walk away from a cheater (or two!), trust me, you know exactly what I’m talking about right now.
The Shocking Reality: Women Who Accept Cheating
Here’s something that'll hit close to home for some of you right. Statistics say that a lot of women do take back their cheating partners. Whether it’s emotional ties, societal expectations, or the all-consuming fear of loneliness, a study showed nearly 80% of couples end up staying together after infidelity. However, I’m here to remind you that staying in a relationship after cheating doesn’t mean it’s healthy or healed.
Some women keep accepting cheaters back because they feel it's easier to compromise their self-worth than to face the reality of being alone or moving on. But girl, do you really want to keep running on the treadmill of betrayal just because you’re scared of stepping off?
Infidelity is one of the leading causes of divorce. 40% of marriages fall apart because of it but still, some women repeatedly choose to accept their partner back, even after several cheating episodes. This often happens due to a complex mix of love, emotional attachment, kids, the years put in and sometimes, societal pressures that say, "Hey, stay and fix it." But staying in a toxic relationship where your worth is compromised isn’t “fixing,” it’s enabling bulls**t!
The Emotional and Mental Toll of Accepting Cheating
Let’s break it down now... cheating affects you on so many levels, far beyond the heartbreak you can't see on the surface:
- Trust Issues: The betrayal makes it so difficult to trust again. Not just in relationships but in people in general. Trust can feel like a distant memory.
- Lower Self-Esteem: After being cheated on, many of us blame ourselves wondering, “What did I do wrong?” Trust me, queen, you didn’t do a thing. Their betrayal isn’t a reflection of your worth. It's a reflection of their character!
- Mental Health Struggles: Anxiety, depression, and even PTSD can come into play when you’ve been through emotional trauma. It’s serious. It’s okay to need help.
- Unfulfilled Life: Staying with someone who cheats again and again will only lead to resentment. And babes, no one wants to live their life feeling constantly betrayed.
Why Do Women Stay?
So why the hell do most stay? It's basically women who feel like they can fix or change their partner, like they're the magical ingredient that will turn things around. Society sometimes romanticises staying together, even when it’s clear that this isn’t the love we deserve and it flat out isn't love at all. Yes, forgiveness is powerful, but forgiveness does not mean we sacrifice our self-respect, our standards, or mental well-being in the process because that in itself is extremely toxic.
Practical Steps for Reclaiming Your Self-Worth
If you’ve been through this, or you’re still right in the middle of it, and you want help leaving, let me just tell you! You owe it to yourself to press pause, reflect, and rebuild your self-worth right bloody now! Trust me, you may be back to thank me. Let’s break it down:
1. Establish Firm Boundaries:
Where are yours? In the bin? Okay! Start again today. Decide what you will and won’t put up with, then stand on it. No wobbling, no “maybe this one time” "they didn't mean it" nonsense. If it’s disrespectful, it’s a no. Full stop. Draw that damn line and hold it like the queen you are!
2. Seek Support:
Please don’t try and handle all this on your own. As strong as you may think you are mentally. Try Therapy, speak to a friend who won't tell all your business, whatever works for you. Speaking to a therapist is personally my thing because they can help you unravel the mess, get clarity, and start piecing things back together peacefully. There’s no shame in asking for help. If anything, it’s a power move and relief.
3. Watch Your Circle:
Here’s the serious tea: if your friends are out here living in toxic cycles, like cheating, drama, constant chaos, you need to re-evaluate your circle. I'm dead bloody serious! Because that stuff rubs off. And real talk, DO NOT take advice from friends whose relationships or marriages are on a never-ending rollercoaster. One minute they hate each other then the next minute they’re telling you they had make-up sex. Absolutely insane, just don’t!
If you know your friend even family member accepts cheating, what makes you think it’s logically smart to go to them for ANY type of relationship advice? I'll wait!
That kind of energy will keep you living in unhealthy delusion and ultimately stuck, thinking that behaviour like that is normal or okay. It's absolutely not! Surround yourself with positive people who are wise in their thinking, so you can find the strength to focus on your own self-respect and self-worth.
4. Prioritise Self-Love:
This is all about you! Do the things that light you up and make your soul happy. Take that solo walk, book the spa day, shake them cheeks in Zumba class, read a good book, whatever fills your cup. Self-love isn’t selfish, it’s very necessary.
5. Choose Your Advisors Wisely:
If you’re really looking for advice, go to people who’ve got their lives (and relationships) somewhat together. No one’s bloody perfect, we all know that! But at least look to someone who can show you what’s possible. And if you feel comfortable, have a chat with your pastor or someone you trust who can offer a non-judgmental perspective. It’s all about wisdom, not gossip babes!
6. Recognise Your Worth:
Affirm this every single day: “I deserve love, respect, and honesty.” Say it loud, say it proud in the mirror after you brush your teeth in the morning, and say it like you mean it! Act like the main character in your own life (because, hello, you are), and if anyone dares to act like you’re not worthy of all the goodness life has to offer, do NOT hesitate to leave them where they're at!
Expert Advice on Healing After Infidelity:
Healing doesn’t happen overnight, and that’s just facts. Honestly, infidelity can hit you hard and my therapist told me it can bring on PTSD-like symptoms, like anxiety and depression, that stick around long after things are over. Yes, it sucks!
But you can't be bitter betty right? You’ve got to look after your emotional health the same way you’d care for your physical health. Please don’t be afraid to reach out for help if you need it like I said before. Therapy or relationship support groups can be such a lifeline they help you make sense of all the emotions, rebuild your confidence, and slowly start to trust yourself again, one step at a time.
A book I'd recommend is The State of Affairs: Rethinking Infidelity by Esther Perel. It’s packed with some eye-opening insights and honestly such a brilliant starting point if you’re trying to work through it all and start healing. It helped me so I hope it can help you too.
If you’ve read it or have any other book recommendations, drop them in the comments. I’d love to hear what’s helped you on your journey!
Building a Future Free from Betrayal
At the end of the day, queen, your worth is priceless... no betrayal can take that away from you. No one should have the power to shake you like that. You deserve someone who truly sees you, respects you, and stays loyal because they get the importance of a solid, trusting relationship.
Getting your self-worth back isn’t about waking up one day magically healed, it’s about those small, intentional moves you make every single day. For me, loyalty is non-negotiable. I’m definitely that woman who doesn’t play when it comes to my relationships, because here’s the thing right, if you can hurt me once, you’ll do it again. And honestly, I respect myself way too much to let anyone play games with my heart. Life’s too short to have someone not value you, disrespect you and cause you high blood pressure! Oh, absolutely not!
Your heart deserves to be handled with care, full stop. And you have every right to protect it from anyone who can’t see or appreciate its worth.
And as for what’s next? Babe, there’s a whole world of love out there waiting for you. The good, healthy, kind of love. You absolutely deserve that. Please, don’t ever settle.
How Do You Feel?
Have you been through infidelity in your relationships? How did you handle it? Do you feel me on this, or do you see things differently? Drop your thoughts below! I’d love to hear from you.
And if you’re after more real talk on navigating love, relationships, and yourself, have a scroll through the other posts on Morning Coffee. Let’s keep growing, healing, and glowing together.
Until next time, ciao for now! 🧡
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